What I Really Want For My 21st Birthday

This year, 2015, marks the date of my twenty-first birthday. Now, the twenty-first birthday is a major thing here in the United States because once you turn twenty-one you can finally drink alcohol. Normally, when someone turns twenty-one they celebrate by having a pub-crawl or something related to booze. But since I'm not "normal"(we've discussed this already), I don't want to do something like that.

What I would really, really, really, really, like for my twenty-first birthday, is for all of my friends to watch a series of videos. It's simple. It costs nothing, except for the cost of your internet bill, and probably won't take a long time to do. Definitely much shorter that having a party or something like that. It would mean so much to me, if they could watch these videos that I will be embedding below. I will also include my own thoughts on the subject of the video. I would also like my friends to let me know that they watched all the videos. Either by commenting or liking the Facebook post, or message me.

Enjoy! :)

Rosie King. This is one of the first videos I have shared to death. It describes what it's like to be autistic.



Amythest Schaber is another person I have discovered, probably through my mum. In fact the majority of these videos will be by her.



This is the first video I think I saw of Amythest. It really hits home because I've had so many of these things said to me. One of the things I absolutely hate hearing is "Let it go" or "Grow up" or "Welcome to being an adult" or something to that effect. To me saying anything similar to the phrases I listed means you are dismissing the fact that I have an issue with something or someone. And because of this, It makes me hold onto whatever I have a problem with even tighter. It also makes me very upset, because I came to you with something that is bothering me, I trusted you to try an help me work through it, and you basically laughed at my issue and dismissed it as not an issue.

As for my special interests, I love Vikings, Scotland, Hardboiled Noir, Westerns, Science Fiction, World War II... Huh... interesting, those are all the things I write about or own RPGs based on these things...


This is something my parent's have experienced numerous times. Mostly due to stress. She speaks of some videos that simulate Sensory Overload. The one that I feel is the best, or closest to how I feel when going places. Watch that video here.



This is something that I think I've been going through in the past few months. Continuous dark thoughts, depression, contemplating suicide, rage, etc.


Stimming. Here is something most of my friends don't see, because I'm afraid that I'm going to be laughed at or made the center of attention... One way I stim is to gnaw or chew on something, a guitar pick, pencil, or whatever I happen to find in my pockets. Another thing is to fiddle with my lighter. I have a Zippo and I love the sound it makes when it opens. That plink! click! plink! click is so satisfying. I also flap when I get incredibly excited. Like when I watched the Star Wars Episode 7 Teasers, I was like an excited little bird. Music also is something I use to stim. Either I play music, or listen to music really loud. I know there are even more things I do to stim, but I can't think of it right now.



I don't really say this stuff out loud, or if I do it's under my breath, for the same reason I don't stim in public really. There are several phrases I often use to soothe myself. "Valar Morgullis/Valar Dohaeris", "Shotgun", "The night is dark and full of terrors", "Buttons! Ooh! I love buttons!", "It was a dark night in a city that knows now to keep it's secrets",  "Protect me cone!" along with several other things. A lot of these are quotes from A Song of Ice and Fire, or Red Vs. Blue.



 I seriously think out every social situation down to possible words to use in sentences. Because then I have a way to "predict" what might happen.


Sometimes it happens... sometimes it doesn't


Thank you for reading, watching and listening.